Yoga Pop: Volume 9

Designed to play for the duration of a 75 minute vinyasa practice.

Song. Artist. Album
(Order is important)

1. It's Personal. The Radio Dept. Pet Grief
2. Changeling. DJ Shadow. Endroducing
3. Souvlaki Spacestation. Slowdive. Souvlaki
4. I Made a Tree on the Wold. Telefon Tel Aviv. Immolate Yourself
5. My Burr. Minotaur Shock. Amateur Dramatics
6. Bubbles. Ellen Allien & Apparat. Orchestra of Bubbles
7. Stork & Owl. TV on the Radio. Dear Science
8. Cherry Coloured Funk. Cocteau Twins. Heaven or Las Vegas
9. Rise. Doves. Lost Souls
10. A Nod on Hold. Ms John Soda. Notes and the Like
11. Said and Done. Engineers. Engineers
12. Headphone Land in the School of Old. Mice Parade. Ramda
13. You Only Live Twice. The Postmarks. By the Numbers
14. You Were There With Me. Four Tet. Everything Ecstatic
15. Emancipation. Helios. Eingya

A Sacrilegious Support Level

On March 6th, 2009 the S&P 500 Stock Index closed at 683, the lowest mark observed in nearly 13 years. The financial media hauntingly dubbed it as our "Lost Decade" after the similarly named period in 1990s post-real estate bubble Japan. While certainly fitting I thought a more accurate (and original) title would have been "The Lost Baker's Dozen." My title P.R. campaign has sadly since become moot. Two months and no less than eighteen sentiment shifts later we now find ourselves almost 30% higher from the early March lows, recapturing much of our previously lost baker's dozen.

But there was something peculiar about the price action on that lowly Friday in March. Previous to closing at 683 the index experienced maximum carnage only an hour before, bottoming out at the devilish 666 level. I am no hexakosioihexekontahexaphobic and as anyone who knows me is abundantly aware my capacity for entertaining claims of numerology, astrology, or religious soothsaying are nil. Notwithstanding this hyper-rational predisposition even I can appreciate the allegorical potential of such a culturally loaded anomalous occurrence. Why didn’t I receive any Evangelical email forwards, anti-Christ blog purports, or conspiracy theorist memorandums regarding this symbolic happening? Isn’t there some vaguely interpreted Nostradamus prophecy that foresaw this important sign? What is the Catholic Church’s view? Was recently reaching this level a sign that the end is near or was bouncing off it a signal that we have triumphed over the forces of evil and that the worst is behind us?

If anyone has any prophetic insight into this topic I would be very keen to see it.

Telegram to Barack Obama: An Investment Banker’s Suggestion for Curing Financial Ignorance

Dear Mr. President,

From my seat as an in-the-trenches investment bank bond salesman the ongoing financial turbulence has been both fascinatingly thought provoking and deeply troubling. While I believe that more good than bad will ultimately result it's obvious that a public formerly in denial of its excesses will naturally underestimate the required depths of its impending catharsis. It’s my hope that the public and media will take a reflective deep breath and appreciate how long this healing process will take.

The list of problems we now face is lengthy and undeniable complex. Few economists would argue that our administration's first concern should be to buffer the dramatic free fall in output that has resulted from a multitude of factors: increased job losses, less availability of credit, deteriorating confidence, shifting demographics, a stronger dollar, and a higher propensity to save (rather than spend). The methods by which one cures this economic downward spiral are being debated across the globe in every media forum known to man. Rather than weigh in on this discussion I'd like to begin thinking about what comes next. Once aggregate demand is restored to a more palatable trajectory a different set of important societal challenges will emerge.

#1.) How do we dismantle the ideological trap doors that led us into our current state of financial chaos?
#2.) How do we recreate a financial system that aligns the interests of its employees with those of its shareholders, the financial system, and the public at large?
#3.) How do we empower individuals to better understand their own personal finances in the context of the increasingly complex and ever-changing global economy?

The purpose of this note isn't to delve into the lengthy discussions of challenges #1 and #2 though I would argue that the keys to their resolution lie in curing the ills of challenge #3. And while most would not consider challenge #3 as the most near term critical it's certainly an issue that is consistently and mysteriously overlooked despite its importance.

I applaud your administration for establishing a committee aimed at harvesting the public's collective knowledge for help in solving the endless problems we now face. It's this type of intelligent humility that consistently evades many of society's important interactions, most certainly at its own peril. In this spirit of knowledge sharing I would like to make a policy suggestion that I strongly believe to be imperative for solving the root cause of our current state. This administration should introduce policy requiring one year of mandatory student education on the mechanics of global capital markets and personal finance.

The multidisciplinary curriculum will avoid espousing one-track convention wisdom and focus on building a framework to understand our manufactured financial architecture from varying critical viewpoints. The class recipe would consist of these ingredients: three parts history, three parts corporate finance, three parts personal finance, two parts applied macroeconomics, two parts sociology, one part accounting, one part comparative literature, and one part psychology.

The most basic assertions of modern economic thought will be stripped bare and discussed at length. What is Gross Domestic Product (GDP) and why is its growth synonymous with economic progress? What is inflation and how is its control crucial to our prosperity? Why is the stock market supposed to increase in value over time? What are the origins of credit and why have economies all over the world become so dependent on it?

While exploring the history of modern capital markets students will consider why central banks like the Federal Reserve were created and how they operate, gold backed currency versus fiat currency economies, and how monetary and fiscal policy levers are used to guide sustainable growth and moderate inflation. Students will examine the gears of our economic engine by following the money trail that begins in FDIC insured savings accounts and ends up as bank loans in the hands of small business. The role of banks as this crucial lending intermediary should provide another important centerpiece for lengthy discussion.

On the topic of personal investments we will begin by surveying the dense layer cake of financial instruments representing the incremental risk and potential return to which an individual can gain exposure. Students will think about what shares of company stock actually represent, under what conditions they may increase in value, and how this investment differs from gold bullion, US Treasury Bills, corporate bonds, a barrel of crude oil, foreign currency, baseball cards, a cask of whisky, or a piece of art. They will read selections from Mackay’s Memoirs of Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds and Taleb’s Fooled by Randomness alongside more conventional investing canons like Graham & Zweig’s Intelligent Investor and Schwager’s Market Wizards. Academics, journalists, and financial practitioners will help source reading material from recent magazine articles, psychological studies, Wall Street research, Op-Ed pieces, and blogs. The class will undoubtedly require a module on credit, examining the purpose it serves, and the various implications of buying assets with borrowed money.

While the complexity of our financial system has been allowed to increase exponentially there has been almost nothing done to help society decipher the implications this has for its members. It has now become painfully clear that financial education deserves the same attention in schools as classes in science, math, social studies, and language. I urge this administration to rise above our country’s quick-fix mentality and set into place an educational policy that will make a long lasting difference for generations to come.

Optimistically,
M.M.

10 Things I Learned in Chile

1. One of the most prominent figures of Chilean separatism was an Irishman. Bernardo O'Higgins’s façade is featured on the not-so-valuable 10 peso coin (1 US Dollar = 630 Chilean Pesos).
2. It's good to be the Chilean government when nationalized copper sells for $360/ton but not so good when copper is $125/ton.
3. The semi-precious blue ‘rock’ Lapis Lazuli, found in Chile and other places, was believed by the Romans to be a powerful aphrodisiac.
4. Quinoa is plentiful in northern Chile (lucky for me).
5. Chile is as tall as America is wide. It’s 2,900 miles from top to bottom but ONLY 260 miles at its widest point east to west.
6. From an airplane the topography of the Atacaman Desert looks like spilled coffee, a bank blueprint, and Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man all at the same time.
7. Flamingos like to hang out around salt.
8. The best racket in San Pedro is the one guy who sells camera memory sticks.
9. Almost all the Chileans I spoke with seemed cautious about expressing their political views on Allende vs. Pinochet. By my count the country is split right down the middle.
10. Rica Rica is an altiplanic medicinal herb reminiscent of rosemary with a citrus twist. The herb makes a fantastic base for tea or supplement to water and certain juices.

10 Things I Learned in Argentina

1. Antiques in Buenos Aires are dialed back 25 years and priced 50% cheaper than in New York.
2. Argentineans claim that their real currency is the US Dollar but mysteriously no one seems to keep track of the exchange rate.
3. Argentineans are PROUD of their European genealogy.
4. Mariano Cid de la Paz’s deconstructed empanada is not as good as the real thing.
5. Never trust an Argentinean Greek whose teeth are three-quarter rotted.
6. There is a political / financial calamity in Buenos Aires every 10 years.
7. The famed Argentinean parilla (grilled meat) isn't all it's cracked up to be.
8. I took street signs for granted until I walked through the outer neighborhoods of Buenos Aires.
9. MTA fare hike haters should move to Buenos Aires where a one trip is only 25 cents.
10. Everything I thought that was pronounced “ya” in Spanish is said with a “shhh” in Argentina. Pollo isn’t “poyyyo” it’s “posho.”

10 Things I Learned in Uruguay

1. Jack Johnson’s widespread popularity is troubling to say the least.
2. There are still places in the developed world where a pack of 16 year old girls can hitchhike at 3am.
3. The Spanish translation for “My hovercraft is full of eels” is “Mi aerodeslizador esta lleno de anguilas.”
4. Many Nightclubs in Punta Del Este OPEN at 2am.
5. In Montevideo housecleaners charge USD $1 per hour yet a 20km taxi ride in Punta Del Este will set you back USD $50.
6. Uruguayans think Argentineans are full of themselves. Argentineans think Uruguayans are unintelligent and insignificant.
7. I'd feel more convinced that Duty Free was a legitimate value proposition if the salespeople weren't the most attractive residents of their respective countries.
8. There are zero people of Far Eastern descent in South America.
9. Cab drivers ALWAYS wear their seatbelts.
10. Mario Irrarazabal’s LA MANO (The Hand) sculpture should be gifted to the Argentineans and re-named LA MANO DE DIOS (The Hand of God) themed to commemorate Maradona’s fraudulent goal in the1986 World Cup quarter final match vs. England. Point #6 will likely prevent this from ever happening.

Favorite Music of 2008

Albums
1. Johann Johannsson - Fordlandia
2. Beach House - Devotion
3. Cut Copy - In Ghost Colours
4. M83 - Saturdays = Youth
5. The Raveonettes - Lust Lust Lust
6. Our Sleepless Forest - Our Sleepless Forest
7. Blackfilm - Blackfilm
8. Tindersticks - The Hungry Saw
9. Hauschka - Ferndorf
10. Tallest Man on Earth - Shallow Grave

Other Much Liked Albums
Air France, Atlas Sound, Department of Eagles, Destroyer, Dosh, Eksi Ekso, Fennesz, Fleet Foxes, Helios, Horse Feathers, James Blackshaw, Lindstrom, Lykke Li, Max Richter, Moscow Olympics, Nick Cave, The Notwist, Peter Broderick, Populous with Short Stories, School of Seven Bells, The Secret Life of Sofia, Shearwater, Sparkadia, Wolf Parade

Album Covers
Sten - Essence
Pyramids - Pyramids
Parts and Labor - Recievers
Foals - Antidotes
Peter Broderick - Docile

Lyrical Verse
"Now I'm noting the limits to our parabola..."
An Eluardian Instance by Of Montreal

Album Title
Eksi Ekso - I Am Your Bastard Wings

Bedtime Album
Helios - Caesura

Concerts
Shout Out Louds @ Joe's Pub, March 11th
M83 @ Bowery Ballroom, June 4th
Keren Ann @ Joe's Pub, November 4th

Song
River Card by Atlas Sound

Yoga Pop: Volume 8

Designed to play for the duration of a 75 minute vinyasa practice.

Song. Artist. Album
(Order is important)

1. Shiller. Ratatat. LP3
2. Younger. Populous with Short Stories. Drawn in Basic
3. Indo. Studio. West Coast
4. The Illking. Mouse on Mars. Idiology
5. Pelican Narrows. Caribou. The Milk of Human Kindness
6. Sonar. Blackfilm. Blackfilm
7. Aquarium Life. Berg Sans Nipple. Along the Quai
8. A Circular Reference. Tycho. Past is Prologue
9. Borderline. Plej. Home is Where the Heart Was
10. Nomads. Our Sleepless Forest. Our Sleepless Forest
11. St. Tropez. Arp. In Light
12. A Song for H / Far Away. Max Richter. 24 Postcards in Full Colour
13. Zoetrope. Boards of Canada. In a Beautiful Place out in the Country
14. Image-Autumn-Womb. Goldmund. The Malady of Elegance

Party Notes from an East Village Walkup

VL was awarded the “Shoeless Joe Jackson” socks award despite disorienting judges with her half-eaten, half-frozen food gift.

MR “held back” as she couldn’t afford to be haggard for her Sunday night same-building shindig.

J and KH reminisced about their 2003 Pictionary title and looked forward to the aughts championship in Horseheads, NY next year.

With jaw dropped, KH listened as ES told fantastical stories of $4,000 glass lamps and headboards stretched as far as the eye could see.

After being repeatedly prodded for his “Wintarita” drink recipe KH effortlessly rattled off the ingredients in perfect proportion: 2 1/2 parts apple cider, 1 part tequila, 1/4 part lemon juice, 1/4 part orange liquor, and salt.

D floated like butterfly and stung like a bee.

In order to remember his address MA had always associated “that tool” KH with the “that tool” band 311. It ends up that KH actually lives at 411. GT wishes we all couldn’t have figured this out sooner.

M hearts Ethiopian Gin but abhors redundant/senseless elevator button pushers.

J and KW’s capoeira performance was severely hampered by the proximity of 65 people in a 650 square foot apartment.

SV diligently solicited for views on the economy only to receive tired drunken stares in return.

DL, MS, KH, and C swapped intelligence on the whereabouts of (free) chocolate milk and cider doughnuts in Brooklyn Heights.

MS misunderstood EV’s clever Ocean’s 14 reference as evidenced by his odd periscopy submarine hand gesture. He went on to kindly recommended warm weather art fair satellites and a lake for swimming.

MK told of a telling of a coming of age story.

JH expressed his frustration of enjoying media cultural no one else has heard of. Like the television show Dharma and Greg.

VA, M, and T stood atop their social networking ivory towers, casting down the faux nostalgia of their needy childhood hangers-on.

EV made pictures until age 11 and then “something happened.”

RM was convinced that SP and KH were siblings.

NG recommended flash bulb games in the dark, left, motorcycled O home, returned, then called out circumnavigating poseurs.

Ode to Grasshopper

When my favored juice shop in the East Village changed its name from Lucky’s to Liquiteria I was skeptical. Though I knew the offering wouldn’t change the new name seemed idiotic, unfitting, and unappealing. I’ve boycotting establishments for reasons more trite but this time it was juice. I like juice, and it’s hard to get good juice in this town.

Enter the Grasshopper, one of Liquiteria’s many pre-defined juice offerings: pineapple, pear, mint, green apple, and wheatgrass pressed into frothy perfection. 100 monkeys typing on 100 fruit/vegetable-keyed typewriters for over 100 years couldn’t come up with such an infinitely balanced concoction. I tip my hat to the creator of this sweet, earthy, all-quenching drink. Thank you.

I’ve wondered what might help usher us out of this seemingly never ending era of mixologist excess. The Grasshopper’s humble simplicity has given this thirsty New Yorker some epicurean hope.

10 Things I Learned in Montreal

1. Females age 16-26 all have short dark hair, eyebrow length straight bangs, and a cute squishy bottom.
2. Renting out Segways to navigate your city’s historic ports is a really dumb idea.
3. Gooseberries, gooseberries, gooseberries.
4. The “which is tastier” debate between Montreal and New York City bagels is pretty boring.
5. Montrealers enjoy naming their stores and restaurants with corny puns like Kitsch n’ Swell, Cash and Curry, and Indiana Jeans.
6. Housing stock in "The Plateau" appears twice as desirable as New York for a quarter of the price.
7. “The hams and shoulders make all the difference.”
8. Montrealers don’t let ANY portion of their swine go to waste.
9. It’s not easy to take a yoga class taught in French when you don’t speak or understand French.
10. They should consider changing their motto from “Je Me Souviens” to “De La Terre Chandail a Capuchon” (Land of the Hoody).

Will the War with Eurasia Ever End?

The recent wave of "Obama Fatigue" articles is so utterly idiotic and hilarious that I couldn't help but write at least a brief rant. The same political media that has tortured us through the seemingly never-ending presidential race is now reporting that the public is fatigued. {Insert emphatically sarcastic interogative phrase of your choice}. I was ready to keel over after about two weeks of coverage, and that was probably during the fall of 2007 (or was it the winter of 2006?). It's astonishing that the same political media that sold ad space with their up-til-here cacophony of political nonsense now has the nerve to fill newstands with stories on the "backlash" THEY created. I'm already fatigued by the fatigue coverage but strangely that has yet to be reported on.

NY Times ~~ Economist ~~ US News

Fruit for Thought

In the first entry of what may possibly become an ongoing series called “conversations I’ve had at least five times” I explore the strangely reoccurring question of “What is your perfect five fruit salad?” This is not to be confused with the more common and less interesting question of “What are your favorite five fruits?”

The goal here is no different than most endeavors of idealic chow: maximize varieties of texture, taste, smell, and sight without sacrificing the innate aesthetics of its stand-alone components.

1. Elberta Peach. While Left Coast aficionados continue debating the availability of decent peaches in New York City I would contend that even a substandard specimen is worthy of inclusion. The skin-on peach should be as ripe as possible while still being able to maintain its cut, sectioned shape.

2. Ruby Red Grapefruit. To achieve maximum results in my sole citris ingredient painstakingly peel off the sectional skin membranes for preferred access to each juicy globule.

3. Prickly Pear. The mouth watering dye red flesh of this strangely crunch satiating, underrated fruit MUST be served ice cold. The only drawbacks are the virtually imperceptible needles that quickly go from unpeeled fruit skin to the skin between your fingers. Make sure you have a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers handy for help in dislodging these persistent pricks.

4. Fresh Black Mission Fig. The inner matrix of tiny seeds in this fruit that’s better known in its inferior “newtoned” presentation adds an unexpectedly pleasant tactile dimension. Slice in half with skin on.

5. Quince. This mysterious fruit was strangely plentiful during my sugar eating childhood in suburban Ohio. Its dry, spongy, tart complexion makes it the perfect apple/pear two-for-one.

Canned Goods Rich in Nutrients

It’s taken eight years, multiple pressed trouser sightings, and a US financial system on the brink of collapse for many of my friends to realize that I work in Finance. Those who once blindly spurned the mechanics of high capitalism now query me on a weekly basis seeking opinions on topical matters of economic and financial importance: the subprime conundrum, implications of our massive budget deficit, stagnant middle class wage growth, Manhattan apartment prices, and reasons for a weak US dollar. Though I rarely opine on such complex and contentious topics I thought it might prove useful to outline a few brief investment tips in the buy/sell lists below.

{These half-jokey views do not reflect the opinions of the institution that might or might not be my current employer}

Liquidate / Sell / Purge:
- Assets that are exposed in any way to the integrity of the US Banking system
- Real estate that doesn't properly value the risk of a debilitating terrorist attack
- Anti-Chinese propaganda
- Art purchased at a Christie's or Sotheby's auction in the last 10 years
- Your subscription to The National Review
- Body parts fabricated from or filled with precious metals (Though likely to increase in value, they will surely pose a health threat as Armageddon approaches)

Invest / Buy / Hoard:
- Canned goods containing nutrient-rich foodstuffs
- Defendable land, preferably located on an elevated plateau in a politically neutral country
- Armored transportation that isn't powered by a petroleum by-product
- Polaroid cameras, batteries, and film
- Roach spray
- Two Slingshots and an aluminum baseball bat (or similarly blunt object)
- An apartment in the "up-in-coming" outskirts of a Chinese metropolis
- Physical stocks of Uranium and Plutonium

Yoga Pop: Volume 7

Designed to play for the duration of a 75 minute vinyasa practice.

Song. Artist. Album
(Order is important)

1. Ready Lets Go. Boards of Canada. Geogaddi
2. 11 Ghosts II. Nine Inch Nails. Ghosts I-IV
3. Midnight to 4am. Blackfilm. Blackfilm
4. Singing Sand. Quiet Village. Silent Movie
5. Acrostico. Gui Boratto. Chromophobia
6. The Magic Stick. Dosh. Wolves and Wishes
7. Time Difference II. Montag. Alone, Not Alone
8. Ketto. Bonobo. Days to Come
9. Disconnect the Cables. Japancakes. The Sleepy Strange
10. Velvet Pony. Psapp. Tiger, My Friend
11. As The Stars Fall. The Cinematic Orchestra. Ma Fleur
12. Unknown Title. Figurines. When the Deer Wore Blue
13. One Swan Swim. Tenniscoats. Tan-Tan Therapy
14. The Rising Sun. Arp. In Light
15. I'm Rewinding It. Bibio. Fi
16. Bright Angel Park. Frankie Sparo. Welcome Crummy Mystics