Yoga Pop: Volume 8

Designed to play for the duration of a 75 minute vinyasa practice.

Song. Artist. Album
(Order is important)

1. Shiller. Ratatat. LP3
2. Younger. Populous with Short Stories. Drawn in Basic
3. Indo. Studio. West Coast
4. The Illking. Mouse on Mars. Idiology
5. Pelican Narrows. Caribou. The Milk of Human Kindness
6. Sonar. Blackfilm. Blackfilm
7. Aquarium Life. Berg Sans Nipple. Along the Quai
8. A Circular Reference. Tycho. Past is Prologue
9. Borderline. Plej. Home is Where the Heart Was
10. Nomads. Our Sleepless Forest. Our Sleepless Forest
11. St. Tropez. Arp. In Light
12. A Song for H / Far Away. Max Richter. 24 Postcards in Full Colour
13. Zoetrope. Boards of Canada. In a Beautiful Place out in the Country
14. Image-Autumn-Womb. Goldmund. The Malady of Elegance

Party Notes from an East Village Walkup

VL was awarded the “Shoeless Joe Jackson” socks award despite disorienting judges with her half-eaten, half-frozen food gift.

MR “held back” as she couldn’t afford to be haggard for her Sunday night same-building shindig.

J and KH reminisced about their 2003 Pictionary title and looked forward to the aughts championship in Horseheads, NY next year.

With jaw dropped, KH listened as ES told fantastical stories of $4,000 glass lamps and headboards stretched as far as the eye could see.

After being repeatedly prodded for his “Wintarita” drink recipe KH effortlessly rattled off the ingredients in perfect proportion: 2 1/2 parts apple cider, 1 part tequila, 1/4 part lemon juice, 1/4 part orange liquor, and salt.

D floated like butterfly and stung like a bee.

In order to remember his address MA had always associated “that tool” KH with the “that tool” band 311. It ends up that KH actually lives at 411. GT wishes we all couldn’t have figured this out sooner.

M hearts Ethiopian Gin but abhors redundant/senseless elevator button pushers.

J and KW’s capoeira performance was severely hampered by the proximity of 65 people in a 650 square foot apartment.

SV diligently solicited for views on the economy only to receive tired drunken stares in return.

DL, MS, KH, and C swapped intelligence on the whereabouts of (free) chocolate milk and cider doughnuts in Brooklyn Heights.

MS misunderstood EV’s clever Ocean’s 14 reference as evidenced by his odd periscopy submarine hand gesture. He went on to kindly recommended warm weather art fair satellites and a lake for swimming.

MK told of a telling of a coming of age story.

JH expressed his frustration of enjoying media cultural no one else has heard of. Like the television show Dharma and Greg.

VA, M, and T stood atop their social networking ivory towers, casting down the faux nostalgia of their needy childhood hangers-on.

EV made pictures until age 11 and then “something happened.”

RM was convinced that SP and KH were siblings.

NG recommended flash bulb games in the dark, left, motorcycled O home, returned, then called out circumnavigating poseurs.

10 Things I Learned in Montreal

1. Females age 16-26 all have short dark hair, eyebrow length straight bangs, and a cute squishy bottom.
2. Renting out Segways to navigate your city’s historic ports is a really dumb idea.
3. Gooseberries, gooseberries, gooseberries.
4. The “which is tastier” debate between Montreal and New York City bagels is pretty boring.
5. Montrealers enjoy naming their stores and restaurants with corny puns like Kitsch n’ Swell, Cash and Curry, and Indiana Jeans.
6. Housing stock in "The Plateau" appears twice as desirable as New York for a quarter of the price.
7. “The hams and shoulders make all the difference.”
8. Montrealers don’t let ANY portion of their swine go to waste.
9. It’s not easy to take a yoga class taught in French when you don’t speak or understand French.
10. They should consider changing their motto from “Je Me Souviens” to “De La Terre Chandail a Capuchon” (Land of the Hoody).

Fruit for Thought

In the first entry of what may possibly become an ongoing series called “conversations I’ve had at least five times” I explore the strangely reoccurring question of “What is your perfect five fruit salad?” This is not to be confused with the more common and less interesting question of “What are your favorite five fruits?”

The goal here is no different than most endeavors of idealic chow: maximize varieties of texture, taste, smell, and sight without sacrificing the innate aesthetics of its stand-alone components.

1. Elberta Peach. While Left Coast aficionados continue debating the availability of decent peaches in New York City I would contend that even a substandard specimen is worthy of inclusion. The skin-on peach should be as ripe as possible while still being able to maintain its cut, sectioned shape.

2. Ruby Red Grapefruit. To achieve maximum results in my sole citris ingredient painstakingly peel off the sectional skin membranes for preferred access to each juicy globule.

3. Prickly Pear. The mouth watering dye red flesh of this strangely crunch satiating, underrated fruit MUST be served ice cold. The only drawbacks are the virtually imperceptible needles that quickly go from unpeeled fruit skin to the skin between your fingers. Make sure you have a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers handy for help in dislodging these persistent pricks.

4. Fresh Black Mission Fig. The inner matrix of tiny seeds in this fruit that’s better known in its inferior “newtoned” presentation adds an unexpectedly pleasant tactile dimension. Slice in half with skin on.

5. Quince. This mysterious fruit was strangely plentiful during my sugar eating childhood in suburban Ohio. Its dry, spongy, tart complexion makes it the perfect apple/pear two-for-one.

Canned Goods Rich in Nutrients

It’s taken eight years, multiple pressed trouser sightings, and a US financial system on the brink of collapse for many of my friends to realize that I work in Finance. Those who once blindly spurned the mechanics of high capitalism now query me on a weekly basis seeking opinions on topical matters of economic and financial importance: the subprime conundrum, implications of our massive budget deficit, stagnant middle class wage growth, Manhattan apartment prices, and reasons for a weak US dollar. Though I rarely opine on such complex and contentious topics I thought it might prove useful to outline a few brief investment tips in the buy/sell lists below.

{These half-jokey views do not reflect the opinions of the institution that might or might not be my current employer}

Liquidate / Sell / Purge:
- Assets that are exposed in any way to the integrity of the US Banking system
- Real estate that doesn't properly value the risk of a debilitating terrorist attack
- Anti-Chinese propaganda
- Art purchased at a Christie's or Sotheby's auction in the last 10 years
- Your subscription to The National Review
- Body parts fabricated from or filled with precious metals (Though likely to increase in value, they will surely pose a health threat as Armageddon approaches)

Invest / Buy / Hoard:
- Canned goods containing nutrient-rich foodstuffs
- Defendable land, preferably located on an elevated plateau in a politically neutral country
- Armored transportation that isn't powered by a petroleum by-product
- Polaroid cameras, batteries, and film
- Roach spray
- Two Slingshots and an aluminum baseball bat (or similarly blunt object)
- An apartment in the "up-in-coming" outskirts of a Chinese metropolis
- Physical stocks of Uranium and Plutonium

Yoga Pop: Volume 7

Designed to play for the duration of a 75 minute vinyasa practice.

Song. Artist. Album
(Order is important)

1. Ready Lets Go. Boards of Canada. Geogaddi
2. 11 Ghosts II. Nine Inch Nails. Ghosts I-IV
3. Midnight to 4am. Blackfilm. Blackfilm
4. Singing Sand. Quiet Village. Silent Movie
5. Acrostico. Gui Boratto. Chromophobia
6. The Magic Stick. Dosh. Wolves and Wishes
7. Time Difference II. Montag. Alone, Not Alone
8. Ketto. Bonobo. Days to Come
9. Disconnect the Cables. Japancakes. The Sleepy Strange
10. Velvet Pony. Psapp. Tiger, My Friend
11. As The Stars Fall. The Cinematic Orchestra. Ma Fleur
12. Unknown Title. Figurines. When the Deer Wore Blue
13. One Swan Swim. Tenniscoats. Tan-Tan Therapy
14. The Rising Sun. Arp. In Light
15. I'm Rewinding It. Bibio. Fi
16. Bright Angel Park. Frankie Sparo. Welcome Crummy Mystics

Popsicle Popularity Contest

Below are real-life search engine queries resulting in visits to Ether Popsicle. My comments are in [brackets].

-how to pronounce ether [how silly!]
-i got some popsicles in the seller [so did i but they all melted]
-promotions campaign for popsicle [?]
-tenjune per bottle price [not as much as it used to be]
-popsicle revel
-popsicle experiment insulation [cotton candy fiberglass]
-frequency of popsicle commercials [not frequent enough]
-lips broach
-quinoa correct pronunciation [good search]
-making popsicle lamps [not as easy as you'd think]
-fla-vor-ice freezer pops vodka [it isn’t wise to fuk with fla-vor-ice in its natural state]
-unificaçao de fisica 20500 [good search]
-popsicle bottle rockets
-popsicle collection jeans
-ladies of the weather channel [you prob meant to do an image search]
-vintage popsicle ads
-popsicle party [!]
-ether party [!!!]
-karch kiraly pronunciation [those who know how to spell it really shouldn’t be asking]
-marble colored popsicles [yummm]
-tipping protocol for yoga [1000%]
-rocket popsicle shot recipe
-blue ghost popsicle [silver ghost popsicle is more like it]

Summer To-Do's

1. Become proficient at handball
2. Stop worrying about A/C units falling out of windowsill
3. Invent my new favorite summer cocktail
4. Bath nude at Sandy Hook beach
5. Perform one handstand everyday
6. Cannonball unexpectedly into the Floating Pool barge
7. Relearn how to rock climb (well)
8. Win the magnetic swirly wizard carny game at Coney Island
9. Montreal, Montreal, Montreal
10. Bike the Central Park loop continuously between the hours of 2:22am and 4:44am
11. Ride around on the top level of a red double decker tour bus while listening to "Strange Geometry" by The Clientele
12. ????

My Calcium

Digging for Undergraduate Treasure

I owe many settings on my finely tuned biological clock to the proximity of nearby accredited live in universities. My year around 7am to 6pm shut in job has dulled my environmental awareness of the season’s school delineated time markers: Pencil cases acquired in August’s back to school shopping blitz, the clean break of post-midterm winter recess, spring break’s MTV made-to-believe Mexican charms, and the dumpster diving glee of summer’s start.

There are a lot of queues that mark the beginning of summer in NYC: The sudden disappearance of good looking people on the weekends, sidewalk garbage of increased smelliness, air condition unit ugliness moved from storage room floors into teetering windowsills, the endless mysteries of sold out music festivals, and of course, the hidden treasures of undergraduate dumpster diving. Each May opportunistic deal hunters line up to sift through the disposed runoff from NYU students hurrying back to their families. As the nine axle Mayflower moving truck can only hold so much, things like aquariums, wheelie desk chairs, shoddy bookcases, and canned peas are all left for the taking. While spectating one of these digs on a recent stroll home I stood wondering what I had left behind in the dumpster outside my freshman dorm...

1. An unexplainably large, three quarter broken AIWA bookshelf stereo system equipped with double cassette deck, analog tuner, and annoying top-spring loading compact disc player.

2. A stack of international trade policy papers each marked up with a different “X” supply/demand chart.

3. Remnants of my J.A. administered freshman year “community service” project: empty Krylon green spray can bottles, college sweatshirt sleeves covered in chipped green paint, tissues tangled in green snot, and a bunch of heavy metal gardening stakes.

4. A pips-out ping pong paddle, three pairs of Nike middle distance track spikes, deflated red and white Karch Kiraly beach volleyball, and warped 175 gram flying disc.

5. Hot water percolator with frayed cord.

6. Two mini ice cube trays, capable of fitting in the 75% frosted-in freezer portion of my mini fridge.

7. Tattered Birkenstock sandals with dried out cork soles.

8. Worn out copies of Marble Madness, Rush ‘n Attack, Dr. Mario, Gauntlet, Bionic Commando, and Blaster Master for NES. (Blaster Master wasn’t so much worn out as it was broken into a bunch of low-tech shards courtesy of my black leather Doc Marten boot sole.)

9. My full kitchen cookery/flatware set: broken saucepan, white plastic strainer, plastic bowl, and fork.

10. The bed sheets that covered my two inch thick “water resistant” mattress.